Mood:  amorous

Was talking with a Master last night and he said he'd read the blog, and that always surprises me.  milovane often feels like she's just sort of randomly writing in a void....like space or something. 

He asked milovane about her journey, into slavery.  It's kind of a big question. 

As a child i was always the one that was "captured" and tied up.  Looking back it seems i often sort of instigated this action.  That it was something that satisfied me in an amophous sort of way. 

Fast forward....quite a few years....and the first PC arrives on my desktop.  milovane discovered irc and chatting, and there, on dalnet, was a channel called #submission. 

Upon entering i was informed that you were either a sub or a Dominant.  i didn't hesitate, and said, oh, not a Dominant, very much submissive.  And it was there, online, that i began to seriously explore that side of me.

i was known then as wolfsine.  There were many lovely people that frequented that channel, and i soon learned that people actually *did* this.  They had relationships based on Dominance and submission! 

wolfsine was given as a birthday gift to a Mistress, Elle.  This will come as a surprise to many people.  milovane is not bi, and honestly not interested in women, sexually, but as a slave i felt you would not have much say in the matter, so i became wolfsine{E}.  my Mistress was someone who lived the D/s lifestyle in real life.  She was amazing and guided me with great skill and a fierce spirit into realizing that i truly was very much most at ease and happiest when i was serving and being pleasing. 

and then, i was released.

While many might find online slavery to be a petty and small thing, let me tell you the emotional consequences were very real.  i was released because (sigh) i had lied to her.  Even now i hate to say it.  The trust was broken.  She would have nothing more to do with me.  i was devastated.

Now, many people on #Submission talked about "Gor", and mostly not in very flaterring terms.  They particularly disliked a place called #silk and steel (i don't remember the exact spelling)  and in my anger (mostly at myself) and despair i thought i could hide there for a bit.  So, off i went.

Tomorrow....wolfsine learns about Gor

Mood:  not sure

In some ways the women *are* taking over Gor, online, and Master Kyrerus is right. 

Having said that, let milovane explain.

milovane is a pleasure slave, a red silk girl.  she is NOT a kitchen slave.  They had those on Gor, you know.  They made sure the dishes were clean, the floors were meticulous, everything in its place, the dishes free of chips, nicks or flaws.  Most MEN could care less about washing, drying, and arranging dishes, or even if the slave washed thier hands, they want to see the slave.  They want to see the slave move, her body, her need to be pleasing, her fire to be touched by a MAN.  

But, the Free Women, being women, worry about hygiene.  Okay, one Free Woman, Mistress Mar`Pai did say she was insulted that the Free Woman being served would think she kept such a filthy house, but was sort of shouted down by others who have bought into the whole busy housekeeping service of a slave.

By the time most slaves get done cleaning and fussing and wiping and washing one is sure the Master's mind has drifted elsewhere.  In order to keep those who value those things happy milovane will often say, "noting the vessel is clean and perfect..." and go on with her serve.  Trust this girl, even if she doesn't show you that she's scrubbed up before touching anything, as a pleasure slave, she is clean, she's just come from the room of preparation, and is scented and soft, and her hair shines. milovane remembers a time when the cups, bowls and goblets were wiped with a girl's hair, and then rubbed on various and juicy parts of a girl's body in the serve.  Sometimes the wine, food, or fruit was poured on a girl's body and enjoyed by the Master as he took it from her, or held in the girl's mouth.  Would the Mistress first demand a slave to go and brush her teeth?  Besides, unless it's a computer virus, it's not like she's truly going to infect you with anything.  

One was in a channel where a Mistress comtemptuously spat at a kajira that was serving, "you are filthy from crawling all over the floor!"  A floor that was luxuriously covered in soft furs, and probably just that afternoon scrubbed spotlessly and quite american hygenically clean by house slaves. milovane thought the Free Woman perhaps was just a little cranky that it wasn't she that was at the feet of a MAN?  

Again, what do you think?  Would love to hear from you.

milovane

Mood:  irritated

milovane will be the first to admit that the books that created Gor, by John Norman are NOT sterling prose.  when this one first discovered online Gor she read the first four books and found them to be what milovane calls "wall books" books you want to throw at the wall.  While the concepts are what appeals to me, the idea of a the M/s dynamic being the natural order of things, that the Master owns the slave in an uncompromising way, the writing did not.

So, now milovane is faced with "homework".  She is to read the books, " Dancer of Gor" and "Slave Girl of Gor" and write a summary and a report.  Also to highlight quotes she finds interesting, and then send this all on to her owner.  

And while milovane will do so, it is irritating the heck out of her.  milovane LOVES to read, and usually goes to sleep with a book in her hands, but it's a book she's chosen to read, a genre that appeals to her, by authors milovane respects.  

*sigh* now milovane knows how students must feel when they are made to read a book they don't particularly care for.

So, talk to milovane.  Do your owners give you homework?  How do you feel about it?  Do you find shortcuts? (would be particularly interested in hearing about those) Have you ever refused an assignment?  What were the consequences?  

Curious minds want to know!

milovane

 On page 112 and the writing isn't any better than milovane remembered it.

Mood:  amorous

http://www.alt-times.com/gor/gor_slavery.html

Ran across this on my wanderings, looking for quotes of slave to slave relationships for Master.  Thought it was interesting.  What do you think?  

Oh, and does anyone have any slave to slave quotes from the books?  milovane would appreciate the help

milovane

Mood:  cool

Ohhhh, a biggie.  Time and time again milovane has seen jealousy rip apart otherwise wonderful relationships.  Slaves are not supposed to be jealous, and yet, there it is, the green eyed monster raises her ugly head and turns the most delicious slave into a shrieking demanding harridan. 

Isn't jealousy natural?  Don't know, to be honest.  milovane has experienced jealousy.  It's never productive.

 What do you do when you are feeling jealous?  Well, there's a few things.  Admit it to yourself, and then ask yourself why?  Do you doubt yourself?  your Master? your owner?  What is at the heart of that doubt?  Part of being a slave is trust.  Trust that your Master cares, that when he says you are a wonderful slave, that he means it.  He may find other slaves wonderful as well, but that does not diminish the fact that he cares for you.

Go take a walk.  Doing something physical often helps disperse the initial heat of the emotion.  Don't make demands, and don't storm off.  but do say you need some time.  While you're walking think about the good things, your time with Him, the fact that you are a slave, and that a Master may decide he would like the use of a different slave.  There's no quicker way to drive Him from you than to get dramatic about it.  Jealousy comes from the fear of losing a loved one, and the way we act when we are jealous often makes that fear come true!  

guess the best advice is to be the best slave you can be, and trust your Master.  

remember, a kajira is exquisite beauty, always pleasing and absolute obedience.

milovane

Mood:  a-ok

your training begins
<Oryx> ----------------------------------
<Oryx> A kajira has three duties, in this priority.
<Oryx> 1) A kajira is pleasing, to her Master or Owner first, then to He whom she serves
<Oryx> 2) A kajira is obedient, following her Master's or Owner's commands to the letter
<Oryx> 3) A kajira is pretty, in her Master's or Owner's eyes
<Oryx> ===========================

 A new slave, collared to Master Modred, came to the Inn this evening.  Master Oryx began her training, thusly.  While these rules may seem simple, many girls struggle with them.  The one milovane struggles with most is the third.  There are days girl simply doesn't feel...beautiful.  

When milovane was owned in rl her owner would display her, at times.  it took a long time for girl to trust that she was beautiful in HIS eyes and that no one else's opinion mattered.  

girl's first owner had only the one rule, "Always be pleasing".  Of course being pleasing again varies from Master to Master, and it is girl's duty to work hard to determine what would please the one she serves.  

milovane often compares being kajira to the ideal of a geisha.  To be pleasing girl must be educated, have a multitude of skills, and foremost put the wishes and pleasure of the one she serves at the center of her conciousness.  

obedience, girl obeys not because of a threat, or because she sees it as a "game" to play, and if she misbehaves she'll get "punished" she obeys because it pleases Him, and pleasing Master is it's own reward.  sometimes that is the difference girl sees in a slave and a "bottom" or "sub".  girl wouldn't dream of acting out to get attention.

 So, the training has begun.  so many girls come and go, it's hard to know if the new one will learn and thrive or find that Gor or slavery truly isn't for her.  

Only time will tell. 

Mood:  happy

At this time milovane (Czech for beloved) is owned by the-Lara-Inn on bondage.com on mIRC.  milovane has been a real life slave (owned by two different Masters, and served others) and has also served extensively online.  this blog and web page will be about milovane, her friends, the Inn, basically a place for girl to think things through, talk about them.  girl will also deal with topics as suggested by the Inn's owner, Master Oryx.  girl is creating this page for Him, and while you are free to comment, it is He that girl seeks to please.